This Mind

Why have I been given the mind like this, I see things so deeply no matter what the situation. I feel so unlike everyone else. But I believe it was given to me for a reason, just haven't found that reason. I get into this zone where everything that happens, gets replayed in my mind over and over like I am a puppet and the master wants me to relive and see what I did wrong and make sure it never happens again. This mind feels like it is not controlled by me. But it does as it pleases and everything I do goes against everything it believes in. Every thought seems to be so deep it scares me to even say it. This mind thrives on mistakes and the only problem with that is... i'm human and I make too many mistakes.