Why...

Does everything have to not make sense anymore. The one moment in my life I actually feel I have started to pull out of this depressing state you throw me back into a miserable pit of depression and heartache. I don't understand, did I do something to you to deserve this torture? I feel like clawing my heart out and putting it in a chest and dropping it in the bottom of the ocean so no one can hurt it any longer. My heart isn't a toy and I am not your puppet so stop treating me so. I have the biggest heart you can imagine and you want to rip it to shreds with your actions and words. Do I not mean anything to you? Or am I just worth nothing to you? Am I ever going to get your approval or is that fairy tale disaster waiting to happen. If I die alone I think that would be better than sticking with someone that takes my feelings and compassion for granted.